Here’s a little story sent in by Jerry Clark. He is an avid Kansas whitetail hunter and his success on big Kansas bucks is incredible. Brace yourself for more from him coming soon. He’ll crack ya up.
The story on Bent Tine the Kansas Whitetail:
Had second day of a cold front and rain… Sitting in my office trying to cut my wrist popping aspirin swigging’ liquid blood thinner thinking of the fastest way to put an end to the stock market bleeding when “yatzee” I could be huntin’ and killing on my property… “where are your priorities Jerry?”… Informed my boss and assistant that I had a due diligence meeting away from the office and would not be back. Put on the necessary clothing… Mixed up Buck Grub, Corn and in a bag (bought at Cabala’s)… Pulled up in my 2006 Kubota RTV (bought at Coleman Equipment) with my Matthews DXT (bought at Rogers in Liberty MO). Hiked down in my Scent Lok Cabela’s wardrobe… Poured the mix in front of my ground blind (bought at Cabela’s…), sat in my little chair (bought at Cabela’s)… Had doe and yearlings all around me… Sprayed coon urine (bought at Cabela’s) on the blind (stunk to high heaven)… Watched does for a couple hours… Had deer all around blowing for two hours in all directions… It was a magical afternoon.
Around 6:20 PM I looked to the right and saw a monster walking into my wind from the north towards me… All I saw was a tall bodied deer with a massive white neck… Pushed back in the blind knowing it was going to be Shrek or Bent tine… I waited and waited knowing he had the coon urine in his mind mixed with some human scent. Unlike the patterns of the video before (Moultrie IR 4.0 bought at Cabela’s) I knew he was a bit nervous. Around 6:30 he presented his rack. I peed my Scent Lok pants and glassed him with my Swarovski’s (bought at Cabela’s). Looking through the mesh, I could tell he was wide, large and in charge! I knew he was Bent Tine and proceeded to crap my Scent Lok pants! Sitting in a puddle of pee and crap I knew my scent was well covered in pee of a coon an other material purchased at the buffet the day before. I sat in the blind as deep as I could knowing the shaking of my body would look strange to him.
At 6:40 he decided to start to move towards the TROPHY ROCK (Bought at Cabela’s) at a very slow step by step pace. Knowing he was not moving in in the normal two minute pattern he was before, I decided to take the first shot he presented… He was 15 yards max, cocked a little towards me when he gave the first target… I pulled back on him but he moved one step further taking the shot out of the picture so I decided to let off. Minutes later he gave me a new look still cocked towards me but a few steps forward… I pulled back and released more of my buffet scent along with a little more pee from my bladder… So here I sat in a mixture of man made buffet scent cover… Shaking like an earthquake… With a bad kill shot set up… What does a man do?… I put my 20 yard pin on his low shoulder and released my Two Blade 2″ Rage Broadhead (bought at Cabela’s) affixed to my Easton N-Fused Carbon 400 arrow (bought at Roger’s in Liberty MO, made in the USA by the way)… Watched my Lumenok Lighted Super Nock fly and strike the buck. (bought at Cabela’s)… Bent Tine just walked 15 yards, bedded down on the hill on the other side of the creek, sat for ten minutes… Lifted his rack and fell over and rolled to the creek. Used my Kubota L5740 tractor with front loader to lift him out of the creek (bought at Coleman’s Equipment)… And the rest is all history and details.
Tractor $30,000 + RTV $14,500 + Bow and stuff $3,000 + Clothing $300 + Swarovski’s $1,800 + $5,000 (3 years of food and feeders) + $2,000 misc = $56,600 / 100 lbs of meat = $566.00 per pound… [Spending time in the outdoors instead of working - PRICELESS!]
I’m sure these numbers are understated but am certain deer meat is the most expensive “free” meat I have ever eaten!
Disclaimer: I quit drinking “liquid blood thinner” about a two years ago… Nor did I mean to make light of cutting my wrists… Most everything else is factual… My wife makes me do my own laundry following a bow kill.
by Jerry Clark